Support for disabled parents

 The 10 Commandments for Parents of Handicapped Children

Take one day at a time, and take that day positively. You don't have control over the future, over today, or over any other day, and neither does anyone else. Other people just think they do.

Never underestimate your child's potential. Allow, encourage, and expect your child to develop to the best of his or her abilities.

Find and allow positive mentors such as parents and professionals, to share their experience, advice and support with you.

Provide and be involved with the most appropriate educational and learning environments for your child from infancy on.

Keep in mind the feelings and needs of your spouse and your other children. Remind them that this child does not get more of your love just because he or she gets more of your time.

Answer only to your conscience. Then you'll be able to answer to your child. You need not justify your actions to your friends or the public.

Be honest with your feelings. You can't be a super-parent 24 hours a day. Allow yourself jealousy, anger, pity, frustration and depression in small amounts whenever necessary.

Be kind to yourself. Don't focus continually on what needs to be done. Remember to look at what you have accomplished.

Stop and smell the roses. Take advantage of the fact that you have gained a special appreciation for the little miracles in life that others may take for granted.

Keep and use a sense of humor. Cracking up with laughter can keep you from cracking up from stress.

American Academy of Pediatrics (

Support for disabled parents

To arrange the support you may need as a disabled parent, the place to start is the adult social services team in your local authority. This is a different team to the ' Children and families team'.

Health and social care assessments and the parenting role

A disabled person has the right to ask for an assessment of their health and social care needs and if you have parenting responsibilities (for a child under 18) the assessment of your needs should also cover the support you need to carry out these responsibilities. If you are a parent-to-be, you can let the social services team know about your situation before your baby is born to help them plan your support.

Remember, social services are not there to assume that you are unable to cope or that you will not be a good parent. Instead, decisions about the support offered should focus on how to help you in your parenting role and not 'what you cannot do'.

It's important to remember that your assessment as a disabled person/parent is about your needs. If you receive the right support, your child's needs will be met without the need for services from the 'Children and families team'.


It's a good idea to prepare for an assessment by making a list of the type of support you need. For example:

         help to care for your baby in your home, for example, help at bath time

         equipment, like adapted pushchairs

         changes to your home

         help with getting your child ready for, and to, nursery or school